Shortly after my fundamentalist young earth creationist Christian world view was obliterated in 2010 by my thirst for science, reason, education, and my need for the universe to actually make sense, I stopped writing music for a long while. I quit playing guitar. I put all my creative energy into my young career in electronics recycling, and threw away all notions of ever writing music for a living.
Since I began writing songs in high school, nearly all of my music creation was directly inspired by my religion or girls, who I pursued largely as an extension of said religion, and couldn't have sex with until I married one. The creative furnace blazed like a thousand suns in my guilty heart and untouched adolescent loins. I was an ironwood ballistic arrow carved from a battering ram. My trajectory would have landed me on the backside of the hammer encouraging the final nail to burrow through my savior's flesh to affix him to a tree, enabling me to forever live in paradise worshipping him.
I also had ejaculate coming out of my eyes.
When the emotional intensity and confusion of that era in my life was severed, the sound of my acoustic guitar did little pleasant or therapeutic for me. Nearly every time I picked it up, I sat it back down within minutes because the sound brought back memories of a monstrous illusion I molded my entire existence around until my 22nd year of life. My music had been fueled exclusively by the pursuit of a deity or damsel for seven years. I had little left to sing about. I needed to reset. It has taken a long time.
There were infrequent occasions of inspiration, however. I am pleased to have evidence of them.